I want to talk to you about a club that I'm a part of. One that you might be a part of and don't even know. It's a club so insidious there is almost no way to escape. The people who are most ardent members will also do everything in their power to not let you escape. They are your gods.
Every member in society is represented within their vortex of hate. Doctors and Lawyers all the way down the money spectrum into McDonald's workers. Every nation and color of human is represented in their club. And this club has rules. Rules that have rules about never leaving or getting out. Here are just a few:
1. BMI is GOD
2. Calories in calories out. CICO is the ONLY way. It's all about the mighty calorie.
3. Our Mantra is "Yeah But" or "Don't you believe." Remember we must remind them that THEY are wrong at all costs.
4. Conflation is encouraged, and Correlation DOES equal causation. "But thin people get diabetes" they yell, always to be followed with rule 3: "yeah but."
5. All fatties are bad fatties.
6. Fatties are rotten to the core of their selves. There is no redemption.
7. Former fatties are just moments away from slipping.
8. One cannot be good until their BMI is in the "healthy" range.
9. Your BMI is not good enough unless it's in the middle. If you just get into the healthy category, you aren't good enough yet because you are so close to failing.
10. The definition of skinny/healthy/good/righteous/thin is someone who is in the Bottom-Middle of the "Healthy/Normal" BMI chart.
11. ALL HEALTH PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED MIRACULOUSLY BY BEING SKINNY TOMORROW.
12. You are not allowed healthcare until you are within normal range. You could have permanent damage or cancer, but unless you are normal range, you will not be tested or treated for it. Because remember Rule 11: just be skinny.
13. It does not matter if you get skinny because of cancer. You have no worth as a human until you do. Because remember, even if you have cancer and you are thin, that means you're healthy!
14. "Unexplained weight loss" in a fatty is not to be investigated by a doctor. They're finally doing something right.
15. "Unexplained weight gain" does not exist. It's always a cheeseburger.
16. Being thin is only gained via punishment for their complete and utter failing. If a fatty becomes scale-provably thin but did not get there via pain and punishment, they did not EARN it.
17. The only way to get a fatty healthy is via calorie restriction and "Good" foods and they must maintain this for life.
18. There are "Good" foods and "Bad" foods. Do NOT maintain a list. Lists will be used by fatties to find a way to make "good" foods taste good. The goal is rule 16. Do not allow them to find peace away from shame.
19. If a fatty does get thin, remind them Rule 3: "Yeah But." They didn't do it the right way.
20. The right way means moving the goalpost. Every OTHER diet is the good diet.
21. If a fatty does get thin, please take care to remind them at every opportunity that they used to be fat. Carry their before and after pictures. Remind them of the previous shame, because at any moment they WILL slip.
22. If the fatties ever demand to be treated humanely, respond with hypocrisy. "It's okay to like yourself, but you need to make sure you aren't encouraging others to be fat."
23. Fatties are not allowed to die, either by natural causes or suicide. They must never escape us.
24. If a fatty dies or wants to kill themselves, remind them and people of all the inconvenience they have caused. Their existence has been unfair to everyone. They will never escape us. EVEN A DEAD FATTY IS A BAD FATTY. See rule 5.