Nox Noir is an archive of haunted books, cursed films, impossible houses, forgotten gods, and beautifully broken people. Each song opens another room.
Some rooms remember None of them remember you. Yet.
* * * * *
How Absurdland Opened
Hack the machine. Summon the problem.
01
Hack Suno
A conversation about hacking a music system opened the first door.
02
Read the Laundry Files
Charles Stross supplied computational demonology: mathematics and machines capable of summoning things that should not answer.
03
Lose the plot
Cthulhu suggested Mahjong. Invitations escaped containment. Absurdland became populated.
* * * * *
Eldritch Mahjong Family Game Night
Nobody knows the rules
I play Mahjong with Cthulhu. This is already ambitious because I do not know how to play Mahjong. Cthulhu invited Nyarlathotep and a shoebill. The shoebill invited Steve. Steve invited the kagu. A random cassowary appeared with a Pallas's cat. At that point, formal procedure ceased to matter.
The official family portrait, before anyone checks the tiles.Mahjong night in progress. Nyarlathotep is almost certainly cheating.
* * * * *
Dramatis Personae
The regulars and the problem
The Hosts
Nox Noir
Technomancer, sonic phreaker, archive keeper, and the person still pretending this is a normal Mahjong night.
Chavey
Nox Noir's bassist and a secret cave goblin who likes fishing and is building a treasure hoard. He lives with his beautiful wife and their separate beholder roommate, who is excellent at whittling.
The Regulars
Cthulhu
Host, initial inviter, and living proof that game night needed a stricter guest policy.
Nyarlathotep
Reads minds and therefore cheats. Lost a staring contest to Granny Weatherwax in under thirty seconds.
The Shoebill
Rarely speaks, misses nothing, and must be bowed to. Please remember.
The Elephant
Runs hospitality. Refills tea, retrieves dropped tiles with the trunk, reminds everyone whose turn it is, and controls the playlist.
The Crow
Has no idea how to play but keeps stealing the green dragons because they're shiny. Self-appointed Tile Inspector. Friends with Steve after a failed heist.
The Uninvited
The Hippo
Crashed the party. Doesn't know how to play mahjong. Heard there were snacks.
The Cassowary
Arrived without invitation. Confined to the "Time Out for Chaos" playpen for everyone's continued structural integrity.
The Kagu
Invited by Steve after a drunken TikTok binge. No further explanation has been offered or requested.
Guest of Honor
Steve
Fictional. A marmot who beat Nyarlathotep at mahjong within twelve minutes of learning the rules. What isn't fictional: OnlyMarms is a real UCLA marmot-research lab's account, and the UCLA story behind it is genuine science journalism, not a bit.
The Pallas's Cat
Isn't playing. Sits above the table on the Judgment Perch and finds every decision inadequate.
The Discworld Crossover
Sam Vimes
Walks in, surveys an elder god, a shoebill, sapient furniture, and a hippo eating crackers, and writes "don't ask" in his notebook. Everyone points at the host when he asks who's responsible.
Granny Weatherwax
Wins every contest of wills without trying. Knew where the tea was before anyone told her. Headology.
The Luggage
Waits outside. Not because it wasn't invited. The house explained that if it came in, there would no longer be a house. Thumps periodically. Approves of the gathering.
The House
The Table
Sapient pearwood. Has opinions about seating, dislikes the Crow for the coaster theft, and has decided Steve can come back whenever he likes. The highest honor it has ever bestowed on a mammal.
Mr. Flower
The house cat. Conducts a silent inspection from the bookshelf all night, then deposits fur on every single guest on the way out. No one leaves clean.
